Christmas Shopping and The ACT Test

Just days before December 25th my wife drug me out of the house to finish our Christmas shopping. Actually, it was the beginning of my shopping but who's counting? Our plan was the head to the mall, make our list, then divide and conquer. The main item on my list was something for Jenny. She wanted clothes from the Buckle. I explained (as I do every year) that I'm not good at picking out women's clothes unless she wanting something in camouflage. She explained (as she does every year) that she wants the gift to come from me personally and its really the thought that counts. That, and the store's exchange policy.

So I trudged into the Buckle feeling very uncomfortable and very out of place. Jen said all I had to do was look at the outfits they'd already put together, find one I liked, and tell the salesperson. Sounds simple. What she didn't tell me was that there were probably 75-100 outfits to choose from and the salespeople (with their fohawks and trendy sweaters) didn't seem interested in helping someone who was obviously out of his element. So I was on my own.

Little beads of sweat started to form. I felt a wave of nausea. I slowly started browsing, pretending to know what I was doing. I spotted a sweater matched with a t-shirt and started digging through the racks. Another thing Jenny failed to tell me is that the Buckle doesn't put any of their clothes in the obvious places. The sweaters and t-shirts weren't underneath the outfit in neat little piles (like they should be), instead they everywhere or nowhere. Apparently they want you to search for the clothes. I guess hoping you come across other things you'll want to buy or maybe the salespeople just like to torture poor unsuspecting husbands. At any rate, I never found the sweater. I did find the t-shirt, but they wanted $65 for it so I put it back. Although I did consider buying one as a investment for the kid's college.

After an hour of intense frustration and deliberation, I started to feel the heat. I had nothing and the clock was ticking. Christmas was almost here and this was my last opportunity to shop. I started debating whether to buy something (anything) and just let her return it or to go the easy (unthoughtful) gift card route. I did neither. Instead I called Jenny and said "Would you just please come down here and pick something out!?" She did. And I paid for it and wrapped it up for Christmas.

On the way home I was mentally exhausted. Jenny couldn't understand why. It was just a little shopping. What's the big deal? So I searched for some type of analogy to explain to my feelings about the experience when I came up with this..."It's like going into a classroom to take the ACT test and you don't recognize any of the questions. And no matter how many times you read them, they are still completely unfamiliar. So you sit frozen to your seat. Hopelessly lost. You chew on your pencil. You worry. You sweat. You panic. The blank answer form stares at you. It taunts you. It reminds you of the impending doom. The clock is ticking and you have nothing. No answers. No solutions. Nothing to show for all the time you've spent in the classroom fretting over this maddening test." That feeling. That's what I felt like standing in the Buckle trying to pick out women's clothes.

She started laughing and said "You ought to put that on your blog." And so I did. Have a happy New Year!

One Savior

This article was in our local paper today...

One savior has domination over all denominations
By John Griffin

This morning I was walking on water, in the shower, of course, and I was thinking: imagine that when we die and go to heaven, St. Peter stops us at the golden gate and asks, “What denomination are you?” and you think really hard before you answer and you say, “Well ... I’m Baptist.”

Then he replies, “Go and stand behind door No. 7.”

As you are walking away wondering what’s behind door No. 7 you overhear the next person in line tell St. Peter that she’s a Catholic, and he says to her, “Go stand behind door No. 17.”

Now you are really beginning to worry. Is 17 a better place to be than 7? So you stop and listen as a few more people meet St. Peter.

“Well, I’m a Lutheran,” replies an old lady.

“Go and stand behind door number 57,” she’s told.

As hour after hour passes, you watch thousands upon thousands enter beyond the gates and line up behind thousands of doors labeling their denominations. You finally get back into line as you hear the final trumpet sound; everyone around you is crying and weeping with fear wondering if they are in the right line.

“Are we standing behind the right door?” A small child asks you.

As you answer, you begin to cry and say, “I do not know. I was baptized Catholic when I was your age, but then my father converted to the Lutheran faith when I was in high school and now I am a Baptist because my wife is a Baptist.

“Oh my goodness,” you say as you fall to your knees crying out, “Jesus, it’s not my fault my parents made me convert to their faith; then my wife’s father insisted that I be baptized into the Baptist faith when we married.

“Father, forgive me,” you cry.

Then, suddenly, all the doors open, and as you walk in, you see Jesus standing in the middle of a large room. You begin to realize that all the doors are in the same building.

You start to wipe the tears from your eyes.

Jesus looks at you and says; “forgive you for what, labeling yourself? I told you there was only one way into heaven, and that is through me! Then Jesus says, “I just figured sticking all the denominations on the doors would make you all feel as if you were in the right place.”

Jesus smiles and says, “Maybe I should have just put the name Christian on all the doors; it would have been a lot easier.”

I pray that you understand my meaning here. So many of us get caught up in our human nature and we begin to separate ourselves. Catholics go here, Baptists go there, Church of Christ go there, Presbyterians go there, Pentecostals go there, and so on.

My friends, we are all God’s children. We are Christians.

As you pick up a stone and cast it out the window of your glass home, usually with judgment in your heart, remember this: “What would Jesus do?”

Jesus left us with only two commandments: To love God with all your heart, soul and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself.

I often wonder, “Do we really hate ourselves so much that we treat our Christian neighbors who stand behind a different door the way we do?

I believe if Jesus were here right now, He would say, “Children find it in your hearts to first love who you are so that you can love all my children, no matter what door they stand behind or what label they have given themselves. You are all my children. You are Christians.”

My prayer for you the beginning of this New Year is to change your mindset and to love your neighbor as Jesus loves you!

John Griffin is the publisher of Christian Living Magazine. Promotions director Rosemary Fisher lives in Columbia. You can visit the publication at www.Christianlivingmag.com.

Holiday Bloat

I have only 12 days left in my quest to fit into my size 34 jeans. The day of reckoning is Sunday, January 6th, 2008. The jeans are still sitting comfortably in the corner of my office where they've sat since the first Sunday of 2007 (if you don't know what I'm talking about, see here and here). Things were really looking good too until December 23rd, December 24th, and December 25th. According to this morning's weigh-in, I somehow managed to average 2 pounds of weight gain per day over those three days and that's without the use of anabolic steroids or HGH. Just good ole turkey & dressing, home-made toffee, and country ham. So it's back to the grindstone! I have 12 days to go and about half as many pounds. I can do it. I'm focused. Steady. Determined. Committed. I even decided to fast all day today just to get a good jump start, but that's before I stumbled into the leftovers this morning while pouring myself a glass of OJ. Oh well, I'll get started tomorrow. I still have 11 days...

Merry Christmas from the Grinch

And the Grinch, with Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

-Dr. Seuss

The H Word

I said a dirty word yesterday. I didn't mean to, it just kind of spilled out. I felt immediate remorse and looked around to make sure no one heard me, but I'm sure someone did. I imagine them discussing it today over coffee with friends. I see them shaking their heads in disappointment and saying things like "what's this world coming to when a preacher talks like that?" The word was the H word. You know what I'm talking about. It's the word that no Christian is allowed to say, especially around this time of the year. I'll print it here but only so I can tell my story. The word is "holiday."

It all happened rather innocently. I walked into a store yesterday to do some shopping and the cheery clerk said "Happy Holidays!" Before I knew what had happened I'd repeated the offensive greeting and said "Happy Holidays to you as well." I immediately realized my mistake but it was too late. I scanned the store to make sure there were no other believers present. I feared that some Christian might turn red-faced and accuse me of caving to the culture and taking "Christ" out of Christmas.

I hope by now you're reading a little bit of sarcasm in the above lines (OK, maybe a lot of sarcasm). Since when did the word "holidays" become so bad? Why are Christians calling into radio talk shows and decrying the "war against Christmas?" And while I'm asking questions, who started this "war?" Our culture or overly-sensitive believers? Of course, if you're offended by the word holiday then you're probably being offended by me now. I apologize. I really do appreciate your desire to stand up for your beliefs. I'm just not sure that the "war on Christmas" is a war we need to be fighting. We do need to live out our beliefs and be unashamed of our faith, but that doesn't involve forcing everyone to celebrate the things we celebrate or use the language we use.

If we want to make Christ the focus of Christmas (which I do) then I there's a better way to do it then suing governments over nativity displays and ranting about catalogs and commercials. The way to do it is simply by living it. If you want to put a nativity display in your front yard then do it. If you want to say "merry Christmas" then do it. If you want to tell people that "Jesus is the reason for the season" then do it. But don't insist that everyone do the same. Jesus didn't enter the first Christmas with shouts and demands that all the world celebrate. He entered it quietly and unobtrusively. Only a handful of people knew the story. And as the years went on those few told a few more, and those few told a few more, and so on. The story of Christmas wasn't spread through force or protest. It was spread person to person and story to story. So tell the story and let God handle the rest.

Jesus Promotes Dishonesty?

From Luke 16:1-9...

Jesus told his disciples: "There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. So he called him in and asked him, 'What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be manager any longer.' The manager said to himself, 'What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I'm not strong enough to dig and I'm ashamed to beg--I know what I'll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.' So he called in each one of his master's debtors. He asked the first, 'How much do you owe my master?' 'Eight hundred gallons of olive oil,' he replied. The manager told him, 'Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred.' Then he asked the second, 'And how much do you owe?' 'A thousand bushels of wheat,' he replied. He told him, 'Take your bill and make it eight hundred.' The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shewed in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings."

Anyone care to explain?

4 Year Old Logic

Last year Halle Jane wanted a Butterscotch Pony for Christmas. It's a 3 ft tall stuffed pony that moves and makes sounds. It also retails for $300. So we tried talking her out of it for a couple of weeks and finally ended up getting a kitten instead (they were only $60 from the shelter). We thought we had escaped. But this year she started up again (dang those TV commercials targeting kids). So I begin trying to explain that Butterscotch was a very expensive toy and Momma and Daddy only had so much money to spend on Christmas so she might have to pick something else. "That's OK Daddy," she interrupted, "I'll just ask Santa Claus for it. That way you and Momma won't have to spend any money."

More on The Essentials

Here's the next two paragraphs (the first is here) from Douglas Moo's commentary on Romans 14...

From the beginning of the church, Christians have written confessions and doctrinal statements to formulate what is essential to the faith. Our own ideas about what is essential should probably be grounded in these early ecumenical confessions (e.g., the Nicene Creed). Most churches and denominations will want to express their own distinctive approach to the faith by adding certain doctrines to the list. But we should be careful about insisting that such additions are essential to the faith and therefore a basis for fellowship with other believers. Paul's advice to the parties in Rome applies to denominations and churches in our day: Where our differences lie in nonessentials, we need to "accept each other."

Valuing and even trying to propagate our own perspective on the faith does not require that we refuse to acknowledge the genuineness of the faith of others. Paul serves as an outstanding model of what he himself would want each of us to exhibit: an unswerving commitment to the truth of the gospel combined with complete flexibility on the "adiaphora" [things neither commanded nor prohibited to Christians].

Since many of my blog readers have a Church of Christ background, let me add this. Don't let your attitude towards written creeds get in the way of Moo's point. Yes, I believe we should have "no creed but the Bible." But that doesn't mean that all creeds are bad (see here) and it doesn't mean that we don't have one. Sometimes in our efforts to reject written creeds we unintentionally created unwritten ones. And then we did exactly what other fellowships did with their creeds, we gradually added more and more essentials to the list and fought about what to include and what to exclude.

Moo's point is simple. Whenever our disagreements are over "disputable matters" we must "accept one another and stop passing judgement." Which is exactly Paul's point in Romans 14. Regardless of whether our creeds are written or unwritten, we have to realize that there will be times where we don't agree on every single point. And there will be good-hearted, sincere Christians on both sides of the issue. Both claiming to have the Bible on their side. At those times we have to evaluate whether or not the issue is one of "first importance" (as Paul would say). We have to determine if the Bible speaks clearly to that issue or if its open to interpretation. And regardless of what we determine, we have to respond to one another in a spirit of love. If we don't do that, the rest is meaningless.

9 pts

Occassionally my blog readers have to suffer through pictures of dead animals (see here and here). This is one of those times...

I got him Friday morning in Hickman County. He's the 4th biggest buck I've harvested. I also set my PR (1:54:57) in the Half Marathon on Saturday. If the sermon goes well tomorrow I may just chalk it up as one of the best weekends ever.